Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats

We have an extensive reputation
We make our home in Victoria Grove
That is merely our center of operation
For we are incurably given to rove

We are very well known in Cornwall Gardens
In Launceston Place and in Kensington Square
We have really a little more reputation
Than a couple of cats can very well bear

If the area window is found ajar
Or the basement looks like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose on the roof
Which presently fails to be waterproof

If the drawers are pulled out from bedroom chests
And you can't find one of your winter vests
If after supper one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls

Then the family will say, "It's that horrible cat!
"It was Mungojerrie" "Or Rumpleteazer!"
And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer have a very unusual gift of the gab
We are highly efficient cat burglars as well
And remarkably smart at the smash and grab
We make our home in Victoria Grove
We have no regular occupation
We are plausible fellows who like to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
Then the cook will appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
For the joint has gone from the oven like that!"
Then the family will say, "It's that horrible cat!

"It was Mungojerrie" "Or Rumpleteazer!"
And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
have a wonderful way of working together
And some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather

We go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie? Or Rumpleteazer?
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?

And when you hear a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash
Or down from the library there comes a loud ping
From a vase that was commonly said to be Ming

Then the family will say: "Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie *AND* Rumpleteazer!"

And there's nothing at all to be done about that!

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