The naming of CATS
The naming of cats is a difficult matter
It isn't just one of your holiday games
You may think at first I'm mad as a
hatter
When I tell you a cat must have three
different names
First of all, there's the name that
the family use daily
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or
James
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George
or Bill Bailey
All of them are sensible, everyday
names
But I tell you a cat needs a name that's
particular
A name that's peculiar and more dignified
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular?
Or spread out his whiskers or cherish
his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you
a quorum
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum
Names that never belong to more than
one cat
But above and beyond there's still one
name left over
And that is the name that you will
never guess
The name that no human research can
discover
But the cat himself knows and will
never confess
When you notice a cat in profound meditation
The reason, I tell you, is always the
same
His mind is engaged in rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of
the thought of his name
His ineffable, effable, effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular name
Name, name, name, name, name, name
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