CHOICES
by Anne Kolaczyk
 The
little orange boy stopped. Behind
him, kitties
were playing, chasing
each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine.
It
looked like so much fun,but
in front of him, through
the clear stillness of the pond's
water, he could
see his mommy. And
she was crying.
He
pawed at the water, trying
to get at her, and
when that didn't
work, he jumped
into the shallow water. All
that got him was wet and Mommy's
image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!"
he
cried.
"Is
something wrong?"
The
little orange boy turned around. A
lady was standing at the edge of the pond,
her
eyes sad but filled with love.
The
little orange boy sighed and walked out of the water.
"There's
been a mistake," he
said. "I'm
not
supposed to be here."
He
looked back at the water.
It
was starting to still again and his mommy's
image was coming back. "I'm
just a baby. Mommy
said it
had to be a mistake.
She
said I wasn't
supposed to come here yet."
The
kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass.
The little orange boy climbed into her lap.
It
wasn't Mommy's
lap,
but it was
almost as good. When
she started to pet him and scratch
under his chin like he liked, he
started to purr. He
hadn't wanted
to, but he couldn't
help it. "I'm
afraid there is no mistake.
You are supposed to be here and your mommy knows it deep down in her heart,"
the
lady said.
The
little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's
leg. "But she's
so sad. It hurts
me to see her cry. And
Daddy too."
"But
they knew right from the beginning this would happen."
"That
I was sick?" That
surprised the little orange boy. No
one had ever said anything and he had listened when they thought he was
sleeping. All
he
had heard them talk about was how
cute he was or how fast he was or how big he was getting.
"No,
not
that you were sick,"
the
lady said. "But
you see, they
chose tears."
"No,
they
didn't,"
the
little orange boy argued. Who
would choose to cry?
The
lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss.
It
made him feel safe and loved and warm--but
he still worried about his mommy. "Let
me tell you a story," the
lady said.
The
little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around.
Cats--Big
Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and Robin.
Merlin
and Toby and Iggy and Zachary.
Sweetie
and Kamatte and Obie.
Dogs
too--Sally and
Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle. Even
a lizard named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and Becky and a hamster
named Odo. They
all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her,
waiting.
She
smiled at them and began:
A
long long time ago, the
Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They
were lonesome and asked the angel to help them.
The
angel took them to a wall of windows and let them look out the first window
at all sorts of things --dolls
and stuffed animals and cars and toys and sporting events.
"Here
are things you can love," the
angel said. "They
will keep you from being lonesome."
"Oh,
thank
you," the Loving
Ones said. "These
are just what we need."
"You
have chosen Pleasure,"
the angel told them.
But
after a time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge
"Things are okay to love," they said.
"But they don't
care that we love them."
The
Angel in Charge led them over to the second window.
It
looked out at all sorts of wild animals. "Here
are animals to love," he
said. "They will
know
you love them."
So
the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals.
"You have chosen Satisfaction,"
the
angel said.
Some
of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves,
some
just had bird feeders in their yards,
but
after a time they all came back to the
Angel in Charge.
"They
know we love them," they
told the angel. "But
they don't love
us back. We want
to be loved in return."
So
the angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of people
walking around, hurrying
places. "Here
are people for you to love," the
angel told them. So
the Loving Ones hurried off to find other people to love.
"You have chosen Commitment,"
the
angel said.
But
after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"People were okay to love,"
they said. "But
sometimes they stopped loving us and left.
They
broke our hearts."
The
angel just shook his head. "I
cannot help you," he
said. "You will
have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."
As
the Loving Ones were leaving, someone
saw a window off to one side and hurried to look out. Through it,
they
could see puppies and kittens and dogs and cats and lizards and hamsters
and ferrets. The
other Loving Ones hurried over. "What
about these?"
they
asked.
But
the angel just tried to shoo them away. "Those
are Personal Empathy Trainers," he
said. "Butthere's
a problem with their system operations."
"Would
they know that we love them?" someone
asked.
"Yes,"
the
angel said.
"Would
they love us back?" another
asked.
"Yes,"
the angel said.
"Will
they stop loving us?" someone
else asked.
"No,"
the
angel admitted. "They
will love you forever."
"Then
these are what we want," the
Loving Ones said.
But
the angel was very upset. "You
don't understand,"
he
told them. "You
will have to feed these animals."
"That's
all right," the
Loving Ones said.
"You
will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."
"We
don't care."
The
Loving Ones did not listen. They
went down to where the Pets were and picked them up,
seeing
the love in their own hearts reflected in the animals'
eyes.
"They
were not programmed right," the
angel said. "We
can't offer a
warranty. We
don't know how
durable they are.
Some of their systems malfunction very quickly,
others
last a long time."
But
the Loving Ones did not care. They
were holding the warm little bodies and finding their hearts so filled
with love that they thought they would
burst.
"We will take our chances,"
they
said.
"You
do not understand." The
angel tried one more time. "They
are so dependent on you that even the most well-made
of them is not designed to outlive you. You
are destined to suffer their loss."
The
Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded.
"That is how it should be.
It
is a fair trade for the love they offer."
The
angel just watched them all go, shaking
his head. "You
have chosen Tears," he
whispered.
"So
it is," the kind
lady told the kitties. "And
so each mommy and daddy knows. When
they take a baby into their heart, they
know that one day it
will leave them and they will cry."
The
little orange boy sat up. "So
why do they take us in?" he
asked.
"Because
even a moment of your love is worth years of pain later."
"Oh."
The
little orange boy got off the lady's
lap and went back to the edge of the pond.
His
mommy was still there,
and
still crying. "Will
she ever stop crying?"
he
asked the kind lady.
She
nodded. "You
see, the Angel
felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing
how much they would suffer. He
couldn't take
the tears away but he made them special."
She
dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her fingers.
"He made them healing tears,
formed
from the special water here.
Each
tear
holds bits of all the happy times
of purring and petting and shared love. And
the promise of love once again. As
your mommy cries, she
is healing.
"In
time, she will
be less sad and she will smile when she thinks of you.And
then she will open her heart again to another little baby."
"But
then she will cry again one day," the
little orange boy said.
The
lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet.
"No, she
will love again. That
is all she will think about." She
picked up Big Boy and Snowball
and gave them hugs,
then
scratched Morgan's
ear just how she liked.
"Look,"
she
said. "The butterflies
have come. Shall
we go over to play?"
The
other animals all ran ahead, but
the little orange boy wasn't
ready to leave his mommy. "Will
I ever get to be with her again?"
The
kind lady nodded. "You'll
be in the eyes of every kitty she looks at.
You'll
be in the purr of every cat she pets. And
late at night, when
she's fast asleep,
your spirit will snuggle up close to her and
you both will feel at peace. One
day soon, you
can even send her a rainbow to tell her you're
safe and waiting here for when it's
her turn to come."
"I
would like that," the
little orange boy said and took one long look at his mommy.
He saw her smile slightly through her tears
and he knew she had
remembered the time he almost fell
into the bathtub.
"I
love you, Mommy,"
he whispered.
"It's
okay if you cry." He
glanced over at the others, running
and playing and laughing with the butterflies.
"Uh,
Mommy?
I gotta go play now,
okay? But
I'll be around,
I promise."
Then
he turned and raced after the others.
|
